Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
