We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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