The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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