yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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