I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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