my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
