I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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