Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
