the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
