just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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