Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
