I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
