so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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