Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
