I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
