im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
