Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
