i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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