Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
