is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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