we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
