i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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