Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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