I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
birth control should be required to get into college
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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