why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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