I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
