Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cockslap morals
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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