I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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