what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, beer. Big fan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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