I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
