Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
