Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize