This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
