hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
