she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize