I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
