It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
