I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
