so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
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stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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