my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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