I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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