i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
