some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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