3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
