a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
