I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
