dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
