Your tits are I can't wait for
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We got so high we made milksteak
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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