Your tits are I can't wait for
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We got so high we made milksteak
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize