Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!