you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
