I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
