i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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