You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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