so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
