i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
as a side note pls kill me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
