My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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