Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
