we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize