put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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