My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize